I was planning to go back to the US sometime in the first two or three months and fortunately my pal Jess was having a Geburstag party in February. Not only was it a great reason but I knew that Jess was going to throw the kind of party that would make me miserable to hear about 2nd hand. I took a Thursday and a Friday off work and booked myself a weekend in New York that included a party bus to Atlantic City.
Before I left, I was worried that the trip would make me sad and miss New York and my pals. I am very happy in Berlin but there's something about home that you can't help miss.
When I landed, the weather in New York was amazing. Rage: gone.
One of my NYC favorites is Brooklyn Brewery. and even more so I love how a handful of restaurants in the boroughs (just two, though) have their own Brooklyn blend. When I arrived, Naman and I went to Blue Smoke and had pulled pork and Brooklyn Blue Smoke Ale. Next, we went to my favorite coffee place, Irving Farm. To my surprise, I accidently spoke German to the cashier THREE SEPARATE TIMES. The first time it was funny, the second time, a little more funny, the third time it was was annoying and seemed intentional (but it wasn't!). Man, that coffee was sooo good. and so normal sized, not itty bitty. and the milk had come from a refrigerator.
Naman and I went to play real-life scrabble since we play together on the phone all of the time. He beat me but he usually beats me on the phone so it was no surprise. Next, we met up with some of the Homemade Snuggies for fish tacos, at Mercadito.
Friday was a packed day with the MTV gang. First, I met the Michelin club at Oceana. Terr-bear couldn't make it so I took over her role of food photographer. here's what we ate:
The appetizers, sides, and desserts at Oceana were fantastic (I've never met a Meyer Lemon I didn't like) but the main courses were disappointing. As a seafood restaurant they are limited and at lunch time it's risky to be creative but I found my entree to not by Michelin worthy. But it was a lovely time anyway.
Next, I went back to the office to see the gang. My desk had been ravaged but I was able to get back my calculator and pick up a new stapler from the supply room since I don't have either. I would have liked more time to catch up with everyone but it is a place of business and those folks on 31 always have their nose to the grindstone... So we went to PONY to socialize! It was my first return since the All-American achievement but don't worry, they still remembered both me and Bsap. what special treatment! I was so sleepy and I even had a coffee from the bodega across the street. It didn't take and I was falling asleep so I just gave in.
Saturday was the party and if I fell asleep on the bus they'd leave me on the turnpike so I had to rest up.
There is so much to tell about Saturday night. I use the term epic extremely carefully because I think in addition to being an overused term, it also borders the word "wicked" (SF'ers use "epic" and Mass-folk use "wicked"). Saturday night was epic. Jess wrote a thorough and detailed email that I will share with you (in italics) to recap the night, with some ellipses and a few interjections of my own. I apologize if the format is difficult to understand. Pretend it's like someone telling a story and someone else interrupting (obviously, the interrupter is me):
You know how at the end of The Hangover, they find the camera and look at the pictures to find out what they did the night before? Well that is exactly what I felt like on Sunday when I took my camera out of my bag after finally getting home. WHAT a shitshow. I know it takes considerable time and money to commit to something like the party bus, and even more patience and perseverance to SURVIVE...so I wanted to thank you all for coming from the bottom of my heart. This was truly a birthday I will never forget - in more ways than one. I also wanted to apologize for the events that occurred and any physical or mental anguish that you endured. Things definitely went awry but I'm hoping that since we did not die on the trip it will only be a matter of time before everything that was mindblowingly insane becomes insanely funny. Also, I am working on getting our money back from the bus company (or should I say the sham company) so I'll have an update soon. And with that, I bring you a recap of...
The Time We Went to AC on a Party Bus and Ended Up Stranded In a Burger King Rest Stop
Wayne, our driver, pulls up with the party bus. Before I even introduce myself, he seems confused. Not a good sign. We board the bus. Fourlokos, RonRon Juice and PBR 40's are circulating within a one block radius of departure. I brought multiple hyper-caffeinated beverages to counteract the sleepiness. It isn't long before we realize the sound system won't play our iPods. Tober and Roy play MacGyver and try to rig something up (all we need is a grapefruit, a tennis racket and piece of string…). Doesn't work because the necessary cord is missing. Next stop: Jersey City Best Buy. I think some people also went to Popeyes for some fried chicken. The MN/WI girls in the back of the bus brought snacks because we come prepared like that and I also had a sandwich in my purse so we skipped Popeyes. We get back on the bus. The heat is apparently not working so everyone is wearing winter jackets. We ask Wayne to please turn up the heat. He looks at us like we're speaking Portuguese. Later, Wayne explains that the heat doens't work while the bus is moving. Although this makes no sense, neither do Wayne's repeated and pointless stops although there's heat when we're pulled over in the shoulder so I'm not complaining. Gina grinds down the stripper poles. Raj makes a speech. We drink excessively to warm up and by excessively I mean mostly Akil because by the time we pull into AC, he is out cold. We try to revive him. No dice. Wayne kicks us off the bus because he needed to smoke his crack pipe. Raj takes Akil to the hospital. Some people go to the club, which is actually in a mall. Brandi can't get in because she forgot her ID. Whitney can't get in because he is wearing sneakers. Lana and Yoav magically show up from DC and I practically make out with both of them because I am so happy. Nina, Katie Y, both Lauras, Kieley, Shannon, Gorlin, Renee, Kate P, Becky and I take DOWN the club. We dance on stage. We dance with strangers. I dance with a guy mopping the floor, and then just the mop itself. Raj and Sweta show up and dance with us. Brandi and Becky end up at Hooters. Gina, Gunz, Cate, Roy, Scoobs and Wang eat at a diner. Tommy code red's me to come out of the club because there is a situation with Whitney and his sneakers. Tommy and I try to sneak Tommy's shoes out to Whitney so he can get in. Doesn't work. Whitney sneaks in, but gets caught, because his sneakers are bright white. He tries to sneak in again, and ends up on the roof.
We party for what feels like 17 hours. We close in on the 1:30am mark which is when Wayne promised to come back with the bus. We start to gather in the lobby in the bus terminal. Akil is wandering around the bus terminal. WAIT, AKIL IS WANDERING AROUND THE BUS TERMINAL. He's fine, like nothing happened and he didn't just spend the last 3 hours in the AC ER...There is nothing I want more in the world than Wendy's. I somehow missed the people that were getting food which I far prefer to any club but now it's too late. It is now 2:15am and Wayne decides to finally show up with the bus. Everyone gets on, except Whitney because we lost him. We can't call because the only person who has his number is Tommy and Tommy gave Whitney his phone earlier in the night. This is a vicious cycle. No one knows what to do so we tell Wayne to hit the road. Tommy advises us that Whitney is skilled in this sort of thing and will make it back to Philly somehow. We all get on the bus, pile on top of each other and go to sleep immediately. I do so out of hunger but not tiredness since I have had three Starbucks Doubleshots.
On the highway, the bus is going less than 15 mph, and has no working lights or heat. It is pitch black on the bus. Everyone's yelling at the bus driver, who won't acknowledge that there is a problem. Or us, for that matter. We call 911 and the State Patrol. The State Patrol gets on the bus but says there is nothing they can do. The bus company promises to send another bus in an hour. We get off, and hang out at a Burger King rest stop. This is the greatest thing that has happened all night!! Someone gives me a cupcake. Which the MN gals brought along with brownies. they were pretty spectacular. Kieley finds hummus and carrots in her bag. It's my favorite kind of hummus. While on the phone with the bus company some carrots spurt out of my mouth which makes me laugh so now instead of yelling at the bus company, I am laughing. To cover my tracks I say "It may sound like I'm laughing but really it's because I'm so upset and really I'm crying." Tommy tries to get a milkshake but the machine won't work. He asks if he can try to fix it. They say no. Everyone takes turns with the enormous championship belt (which was brought on the bus to signify the Packers winning the Super Bowl). I am loving this situation and have no concerns about getting home because in a group this large there is always someone else to figure it out. I'm just cracking up and eating fries. Then Jess's sister takes executive action and calls a limo that will fit 10 people. I see my chance off the Titanic and sign-up.
A new bus shows up, except it's the same broken bus. I call the bus company. They say our only option at this point is to board the broken bus, take it back to AC and get on public transportation to NYC. Raj and Gunz go ballistic. Everyone screams. We take more pictures with the championship belt. Only 5 people get back on the bus (me, Tommy, Becky, Brandi and Kieley). Let the record show that Kieley was signed up for the limo but she went on the bus to get Jess but she was there it drove away and then that was that. Everyone else calls/waits for cars or limos to take them back to NYC. The broken bus (still only going 10 miles an hour, with no lights or heat), takes the five of us back to AC, to take the Greyhound.
When we get to the AC bus terminal it is basically a homeless shelter. We buy tickets for the 5:45am Greyhound, but are told that it's first come first serve because it picks up at all the casinos first. We wait outside in negative 15 degree temps for 25 minutes with hardly any clothes on. The bus never comes. Which I guess means it was full. We figure we'll get the next bus since they come every 15 minutes. We wait for about 40 minutes. No bus ever comes. We do not get a refund.
We then buy tickets for the NJ transit bus at 7am, to NYC. This is the happiest moment of my life. Right around this time, our limo drops us off on Houston. After a warm and cozy ride I am wide awake and start my day! Two and a half hours later, we pull into Port Authority and stumble off the bus. The daylight hurts my eyes, my contacts feel like sand paper and I am confused why so many people are out and about. Then I realize it's almost 10am. Hail cabs home. Crash in bed. Wake up a few hours later convinced the entire thing was a dream and did not really happen.
But it did. And it's one hell of a story.
It was a great weekend. I was sad it was over but I wasn't sad to come back to Berlin. I'll be back in August for the Fourth Annual Minnesota State Fair Day!
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