Halfway There

Today, I start the second half of my zehn in elf (my fünfte). Although not really because October 31 is a Monday it is unlikely that I will leave on a Monday. Let's just keep saying it's the halfway point, though.

I feel like I've been here forever. Compared to when I arrived and all I knew was "Goodbye Lenin" I now I call things "Soo German" or "Sooo Berlin" (such as having a relaxing weekend, who appreciates that but the Deutsch?) but I don't really know what I'm talking about. After my first five months in New York City I was little more than a tourist; here I have exceeded that but still haven't been to one museum.

Due to some medical issues, the past few weeks have been very reflective for me. I've had to think about my priorities and put into perspective my needs and wants because apparently I can't go without sleep for days at a time anymore and I can't add hours to the day - although if our reporting system were faster, it really would add hours back to our lives.

I'm not done here, but I am accomplishing what I wanted to do by moving abroad: 

I wanted to learn about working internationally. What are the cultural differences and what are the challenges of reporting to the man behind the curtain? 

In some cases, my working relationships here are very similar to those at home. But in other cases, they are absolutely not. I was warned about people, attitudes, and the like but I thought how bad can it be? and will that even affect me? yes, it matters. and yes, it has certainly affected me. I can only project this midwestern positive attitude so far. There are certain people that I think just hate me or think I'm the biggest dummy. Sometimes I almost think they might like me! but then the next day it goes away… But also I'm learning that sometimes you won't be besties with everyone you work with (although maybe I just don't know how to read these people). 

I can't say how often I ask people if they are serious or kidding, and even after they answer I still have no clue. Also, the emoticons. Possibly the first thing I learned in school was don't ever use them. Maybe if you're chatting on AOL but in a work email they have no place. They are everywhere here and if someone gives you :) :) :) that means #@(&!*%!. 

Fortunately and unfortunately, I have also become quite familiar with the challenges of reporting to the man. There are two teams that we report to in New York, one that I was a part of and one that I was barely familiar with. I was guilty in my last role of thinking everyone could fit into the same 18 passenger van. In fact each country is like a special child that is good at soccer but needs extra help with math. It is possible to fit us all in an RV together but we won't be like the Duggars. 

I recently attended a training given by HQ to the countries in my region. We were flat out told that our needs were not a priority and were only a difficulty to our trainer. and this is supposed to be our representative? our advocate? With one statement, I picked my team. You don't need to say to our faces that you don't give a poop how much we have to do to make your life easier. 

I wanted to work directly with the businesses that generate the P&L where I have spent my last five years. In my former positions I saw everything that was going on in the world but the simple stuff I had no clue about. During my last role in New York I started to feel like I was ready to pull away from the numbers but before I did that I wanted to get a closer look so I could finish out the picture. I most definitely have a close look here. Cate sent me a sweet new magnifying glass and is quite symbolic of how granular things are.

Ok that's the work part. I also wanted to come here to live. And even though I spend most of my life at Stralauer Allee 6, I also am appreciating life in Berlin. Melissa, who I had spoken to five times before Berlin, and I do almost everything together, I have also never spent so much time alone. I have never lived alone before and not since over 10 years have I been this long without a boyfriend. This is so great for me. I love living alone and I can finally do random stuff all hours of the night and not have Kaite ask me to stop working on my halloween costume at 4AM. I sleep on the couch. sometimes because I'm too lazy to put sheets on the bed or maybe just too lazy to walk over there. I am extremely particular about composting, reusing, and recycling as Jessica learned when she was here. And I'm finally fulfilling my dream of living paper towel/paper napkin free!

I still want to have some German pals and I really wish my German was better (no one to blame buy myself for this one). I am still trying to find good veggie burgers to grill at Melissa's and a vegetarian restaurant that serves something other than salad and soup.

I am so thankful for this opportunity in Berlin and even the days where I claim to be "miserable" I am actually very happy and appreciative for every bit of this experience. I'm sad to think I only have five months left but looking forward to every single day.